The Heart Of The Matter

Nov. 28/10 0310 PDT. The Song Of The Day Is : “Lay Lady Lay” by Bob Dylan ( I always enjoyed the feel of this song) Yesterday evening the fight was on full tilt. More often , and for longer periods of time now I am experiencing symptoms that mimic , or are symptoms of a pending heart attack. For awhile I worked as the medical officer (glorified Level III first aid attendant) when ships stopped to unload their cargo at the Port of Vancouver. If someone there was exhibiting some of the symptoms that I now experience I would follow the standard protocols. Put the patient in a position of comfort , monitor the vital signs in case CPR was required and dial 911. In my case if I dialled 911 or went to the hospital every time that I experienced debilitating or what appears to be life threatening symptoms then I would be be going to the Emergency department almost daily. Maybe the symptoms are mimicking an oncoming myocardial infarction are the side effects of the medications . Maybe I have developed a heart problem. Maybe the metastasis of the cancer is affecting my heart . (maybe it is just broken). I found two new lumps last week , now this !!!!. I am sure that going through and surviving episodes like the 50 or so days and nights that I recently experienced . When I spent 90 % of my time standing or pacing with no sleep to speak of. My heart rate constantly above 100 beats per minute , little nutrition , the stress of traveling to receive radiation treatment , barely being able to swallow and having difficulties breathing. Episodes like this could have taken a toll on my heart. The laxatives that are prescribed and touted as safe by health care professionals (sennosides) that I must take alongside the pain meds can have deadly side effects and often do. I am sure that many a patient has died from the side effects of the “safe” laxatives while blaming the disease. Like someone being administered a lethal dose of potassium chloride , listing the cause of death as cardiac arrest . The patients heart may have stopped , but it was the potassium chloride that killed the patient. (I digress here). I pray and hope that I will have the strength and means to at least do a bit more living. If I see Monday I start to run the gauntlet again. Ct scans , a visit to the DR. here on N. Vancouver Island . My oncologist from Vancouver contacted me and said that if it is the cancers that are causing my problems , and if the cancers are in an area of my body that can be radiated , that the treatments can be administered within a few days. The logistics and requirements required to of an impending trip to the mainland and the stay there raise the stress levels through the roof . I found two more lumps last week , suffered debilitating pain in the lower right quadrant of my abdomen and am now experiencing symptoms related to heart disease. Dam ! , I would like to do just a bit more “Livin” Bye.