Contemplation Log

Mon. Aug. 9 /10 0646 PDT Something , or something unfinished has been keeping me alive. The day is overcast , the neighbours adopted feral cat stuck her head inside my window ,took a brief look at me and wandered on. I am going to try to make it down to a log on the beach. The old worm eaten log had spent many years in the ocean . It washed up during a magnificent storm last winter. There has not been another wave since then that has been powerful enough to remove it from it’s regal perch .I’m going to plant my feet on the ground , my face in the sky , maybe the spirits of the ocean and the changing sky will take me to a peaceful place for awhile . Usually when I make it down to “contemplation log” to say my three prayers , a crow comes by perches close by on the same log and keeps me company for awhile. Small pleasures , great treasures. 0800 PDT What a morning. My body is not punishing me as much as usual. I walked along the beach for a short while. Sat down on contemplation log. Said my three prayers. The crow joined me for a short while. The tide was receding , slowly exposing it’s treasures . The clouds were hanging in the mountains like soft pastel strokes streaming from behind an artists brush. The ocean was calm , glassy , and flat for most of the way to the mainland. Flocking birds simultaneously danced against the shades of blue gracing the sky. My feet on the ground , my face in the wind and all the beauty surrounding me , for a few moments I felt like I belonged . These moment are spiritual to me . I wonder if we choose where we are going to die , or if the place chooses us? Something , or something unfinished is keeping me alive . The cancer should have killed me long ago. Sometimes the suffering has made me wish I was dead. Then shortly there after I feel guilty for thinking that way. At the moment I do not care. I am just going to bask in and be grateful for the comfort and peace that I experienced this morning. Bye For Now , See Ya on The Other Side.