Mortality and Myself

April 2 /10 0400 As the patrons of each generation get closer to the end they reminisce. This tendency grows stronger as one approaches the end of their time here. Each generation believes that life was harder and the good times sweeter than what the current generation is experiencing. If one looks closely one realizes that nothing much changes from one generation to the next. Each one has it own demons and angels. Each one as important as the other. Myself and my mortality are spending this my last Easter together. Circumstances and health permit me to do little else. After months and months of 4 walls and having the my body kick the crap out of itself I am grateful that at least I still can reminisce. The Cancer will metastasize to my brain if I continue living much longer , This can manifest itself at any moment. I am not looking forward to effects if this. Blindness , deafness , suddenly becoming crippled can occur at any time. I can usually fool myself and put this out of my mind for awhile. Then just like dirty laundry the reality comes back to haunt. The daily stress of just trying to get by each day has also taken it’s toll as have the powerful chemo drugs , the pain and constant fatigue. I am not whining but documenting.This is the daily grind that has been going on day in and day out for well over year and half now.The physical onslaught has been going daily for a much longer time. Back to the hospital on Monday thru Thurs. . More chemo drugs and then the hellish slide that follows. I believe that I am hanging on a bit to long for most people that I know. The seas are massive outside my window today and it is high tide right now , 0700. The ocean has the capacity to throw 60 ft. logs 5 ft. or more in diameter around like matchsticks. I watch from behind the glass. There is comfort in being humbled by nature in this way. So far no new pains today , This is a bonus as is living to see another Easter. My mortality and myself will make the best of this my last Easter. Bye for now . See ya on the other side. .