Acquaintances ,Past and Present

Mar. 8 / 10 I can sense life slipping away. Like grains of sand falling through the hour glass. Sometimes more sand drops through the opening than other times. I am not being totally metaphorical here . I can physically feel the life that I have left in me slipping away. There are small windows of when there is enough energy and semblance of wellness to do anything. These periods of time are becoming shorter and less frequent. I have few of these times left and once their gone their gone. I am hanging on and continue to do so. People I know are tiring and have little time for me. I did anticipate this a long time ago. People have lives and must get on with it. They will justify all their actions to themselves one way or another and will view themselves in the light of their own intentions. That is just the way things are. I put it behind me, get on the best that I can and am grateful for the time that I have left. Dreams. The consensus amongst people that have had experience with the dying is that one should paying attention to the lucid intense dreams that one experiences when close to death. Lately acquaintances from my past have made appearances in my dreams. A different person, soul?, has appeared each night for the last few nights . Some of the souls in my dreams I know have passed away . Maybe they are the welcoming committee from the other side. The chemo and the cancer. I wrote before starting the chemo that I had a bad feeling about the outcome of the chemotherapy. My body just is not bouncing back from the chemo. The next cycle has been delayed again as my blood count just is not returning to the levels that it should be. The Dr.’s are unsure if the chemo is killing the cancer cells. For the last months and months my days are spent waiting and litigating with bureaucrats in the hopes to have the means for survival. I anticipate that this is the way that I will spend my last days. . The effects of the chemo and cancer top of my days. I still try to get into the positive but it is becoming more of a stretch each day. One way or the other , some things gotta give. The Song of The Day Is: “Starry Starry Night” by Don McLean Bye For Now . See ya on the other side