Transparency

Mar.23/10 0200 Still here. I hope that the effects of the chemo and cancer will abate for awhile so that I can concentrate on other matters. I wonder if it the journey or the destination that fills the spaces in time ? I wonder what is left when we throw away our animal tendencies and instincts? There is no more need to hoard possessions. No one has anything that can be used to bribe or influence. No one can instill fear. There is no need to protect one’s turf anymore. What is left when one is stripped bare of envy , jealousy , material ambition and all the other unsavoury motivators in life. The only company left is one’s conscience and curiosity. The only important assets left are memories. The only security left is “understanding” and the acceptance of one’s lack thereof. Everything and everyone I see is obvious and transparent.. I feel aware of every presence around me. I seem to be able to sense why and what people are feeling. I can see where compassion starts and why it stops. I am still confused as to how and why we fool ourselves into believing that we are more socially advanced than when we lived in caves. Out and out denial I guess. I cannot understand why “believers” and people of “faith” seem to be the most selfish , cruel and intolerant. Maybe this earthly plane is just a test . Society on a human level certainly hasn’t evolved. Slave mentality is still the core of every modern society. More people are brutalized and enslaved today than during any period of humankind. All in Gods name. We do have a unique ability however ignore and not see what is obvious and in plain sight if we so choose. Maybe dying is the cleansing of the muck that we wallow in , or more so take delight in forcing others to wallow in. When I see the cruelty that people inflict upon each other, I cry.