Mon. Mar.8 /10 0500 I was admitted into the emergency department at the hospital twice during the weekend. I have to go back today and for the next 3 days following that. It is possible that cancer has metastasised into my head or I have an infection. If the cancer hits my brain I should pack it in. I have seen what the cancer does to someone when it hit’s the brain. If I have an infection continuing on with chemotherapy is not possible . If I do not continue on with the present chemo drugs my the chances of further chemo are slim. It is my understanding that the cancer is not affected by or builds up a tolerance chemo during the cycles of chemo. More chemo at a later time could very well be improbable.The cancer I have is “extremely aggressive” and is growing. I find out tomorrow if the cancer has metastasized into my bones. This latest development has one way or the other considerably shortened the length of my stay on “death row” is again wracking my body with pain. I cannot sugar coat the fact that my death will be a horrible one. God nor anyone else sees fit for me to do some living in the time left or to die with some dignity. Still stroking but much slower and with much less enthusiasim. See ya on the other side.
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