Rants and Wishes

Thurs. Mar. 18 /10 0300 The Song Of the Day Is. “Life by the Drop” by Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble The drugs ! the drugs! , the drugs , I am almost convinced that while dealing with the cancer the worst thing to do is to take all the drugs that are offered. The chemo drugs are life saving . However the body never fully recovers and there is the added side affect known to cancer patients as “chemo brain“ . Then there are the drugs for the side effects , mainly nausea. Some of these drugs were never intended for this use , they can have serious permanent neurological side effects of their own , there are safer alternatives , yet are prescribed on their own. I told the Dr.s that I was not going to take this drug and it was no big deal. “Uh Oh” , a rant. I would think that any cancer patient given the choice would perfer to puke for awhile rather than suffer permanent brain damage. These archaic drugs are no longer necessary as there are safer alternatives. I wonder how much of the decision making process of the treatment cancer patients receive is influenced by drug companies drive for profits. I do not besmirch any company or anyone being fairly compensated for their honest investment of time , labour or money. Some sense of morality has to be brought back into the marketplace. This prevalent attitude that “business is business” and “laughing all the way to the bank” is fine for sociopaths that have no concern for their fellow man or the world that they live in is disheartening and disgusting. A person only has to look at all the recent drug recalls of products that killed , automotive recalls and the credit crisis to realize to realize that industry and govt’s have absolutely no concern for the general population. Most resources are spent on the privileged few , and they don’t feel like they have enough they will send the poor’s sons and daughters off to a foreign land to die and get them some more. Our children are now being indoctrinated into this way of thinking. What kind of people would name their kid “Mercedes” ,or “Bob” for that matter. Whew Im glad I got a bit of something out. , I would like to leave behind some interesting stories of some of the life that I have led behind. It has varied , dangerous , exiting , and unfortunately often painful both emotionally and physically. I have manged to take the time to try to understand why events occur and unfold the way that they do. My effects and influence on the people that I know and meet and how I can maybe in some small way contribute at least to people around me in a positive way. On a selfish note I would also like to throw in some good living for myself and continue on in my spiritual quest.I would also like to leave behind a narrative of the trials and tribulations of what it is like to be dying from a terminal disease. Maybe it will be helpful for the dying and the people near them. I am coming to realize more clearly with each hurdle is how much the peoples near the dying need a guide on how to deal with person leaving. The cancer and the therapy however is all consuming now. The few good hours that I was looking forward to each month I now look forward to on a daily basis. Some days they do not come at all. If this slide continues , “so be it” . If I get more time on this earthly plain I will be grateful as I have so much more to say. I would also like to finish Slowdeath2.Bucket List? Either way I will maintain my dignity , try to leave with a smile and be happy and thankful that I had a life to live. Bye for now . See ya on the other side.