Living To Exist (Fading)

0130 Lately when the fatigue hits I can feel the effort required to move my fingers , I am aware of movement in my eyelids when I blink. I do not expect other people to grasp the fatigue felt by a cancer victim. Before I was sick I would not have been able to comprehend the degree of fatigue that a cancer victim experiences. I am experiencing a double hit of fatigue now. One from the cancer and one from the infection? . I am running out of tricks to keep my spirits up and keep fighting. Sometimes I just have to let life slide and wait for the “will to live to kick in”. I am awake through most nights now. I feel a bit better then. I try to live those moments whenever I can. I am either sitting here or pacing. I try to keep moving as much as I can. No matter what the circumstances we all die alone. Within my niggardly circumstances I have to garner all my strength not to be bitter. My disappointment caused by a new illness and my inability to receive more chemo compounds my frustration. Trying to get into the positive . The Song of The Day Is “Don’t Let The Sun Catch You Crying” by Gerry and the Pacemakers Again “Man was not meant to live to exist , but exists to live” . Bye for Now, See ya on the other side