The Earths Blood

Mar.29 /10 0300 The wind howls and the ocean boils this morning. There is a severe wind warning for this part of the Island . The winds coming from the southeast is the direction that whips up the ocean the most. High tide is at 0500 PST. If all the conditions are right the boiling surf spits pieces of wood up onto the yard in front of my window at high tide. Low tide exposes a ¼ to ½ mile peninsula of hard ancient rock that has been to tough for the waters movement to grind away. Although I can see that the ocean has tried . The rock that has been left behind has been sculpted into one massive art gallery. It as a revered feeling to have this exposed ancient rock under my feet when I have the energy to go for a walk. As if the earths soul has been laid bare in places. This peninsula is where a colony of sea lions relax and bask. Close to the shoreline I can hear by my footsteps that it is hollow in places ¼ mile in shore from low tide. The oceans waters must have eroded the softer rock underneath. In my own way I consider the oceans water as the earths living blood. The rivers and creeks the earths arteries and veins. It is quite possible that I have the oceans water flowing through these hollow caverns underneath me right now. For whatever reason and by whatever forces of creation there is something special in this spot for me. I have been here since last June. I know that had I stayed where I was prior to moving that I would have died long ago. I have been near death since more than a few times. Somehow something keeps me alive . Why or for what purpose I do not know. I am neither religious nor do I have any defined spiritual beliefs. I have to acknowledge that there is power in this area and it keeps me humble. The Cancer and the Chemo. I had a couple of what I consider good days. These days are relatively pain free. The only things that I have to deal with are exhaustion , the constant thorn of there never being a position of comfort and bouts of what I am pretty sure are depression. Surprisingly depression can be more debilitating than the cancer. If the pains subside without the use of prescription drugs I can deal with the other three. In a 24 hr period I can get 2 to 4 of what I call good hours. Still these 2 to 4 hrs had I been healthy I would be calling in sick for work. Things change , in my present state I look forward to and am grateful for these 2 to 4 . There are days when there is no relief from the exhaustion and the pain is maddening , constant and debilitating. Bye for now. See ya on the other side. The Song of the Day Is . “to love Somebody’ By The Bee Gees A sloppy sentimental song. .