A Bit of Fight

Feb. 23 / 10 0215 Sometimes there are pleasant surprises. Although physically uncomfortable there are periods when I manage to put myself in a state of peacefullness. I cherish these moments , however brief. I am fortunate that I have had , and hopefully still have some time to reflect upon the significance of moments of joy. I try to accept mans ugly side with a Vietnams Vets resolve of “ don’t mean nothing” but fall short. I still cannot manage to shut my eyes and pretend not to see. I can’t help but feel that we are all somehow responsible to one another. The transparency of intentions are all too clear. While the clock is running out I am trying to be as honest with myself and others as possible. This is more difficult than it may seem but is rewarding when accomplished. Life has been anything but conventional. Many paths have lead me in many directions. Some beautiful , some hilarious , some horrendous , some spiritual. A “dam the torpedoes” and “lets see what lies at the end of this road” attitude has put me into situations that could not be planned or anticipated. I am not always sure if I was more interested in the what has happened as to the why. Hence the observations of intention and behavior as to how and why we react the way we do in certain circumstances. An inquisitiveness in regards to humane nature and an impending early demise give’s me licence to contemplate. I have always considered people that do not take the time to consider the ramifications of their actions in life as morally lazy. The “business is business” attitude is nothing more than spoiled children bickering over candy. It is hilarious to watch the pillars of society behave like greedy street urchins trying to steal as much as they can from each other , greedily trying to hoard as many possessions as they can grab while blaming each other for any shotrtgivings. One can observe Cops behave worse than the criminals and their actions result in other peoples misery and deaths. Politicians self-serving policies that also cause untold human suffering and deaths. Yea ! In Canada no less. I say this because I have been fortunate enough to have won the best lottery of all. To be born Canadian. It hurts to see the people that are supposed to be moral are more often than not the most devoid of morality. There is a dark underside in policing and our courts that should be told. The comparison between Stephen Harper and Wayne Kellistine comes to mind. The hand in glove relationship between authourities and drug dealers in British Columbia also comes to mind. Lots of money , lots of pain. Those stories will follow. I have not had the luxury of going through life with my eyes closed nor the comfort of the hypocacy that eminates from living a life of accumulation. I did walk that path successfully a few times but found it empty. The cancer did catch me with my pants down however, I do not regret going through life with my eyes open. There dam good stories too. The Cancer. I am back to praying for , if not for more time at least some comfort. Things I am grateful for. The last few good hrs., the upcoming sunrise, children’s smiles , beautiful women , being born Canadian , each new day.