Mon. Oct.19/09 I am hanging on to live for to long for the people around me .I can feel them tiring. I imagine that their sub conscious is saying “when is this guy going to finally die”. I keep getting close but I just don’t feel like dying at that time and my body seems to respond and gives me a bit of a reprieve. I understand that my presence makes them uncomfortable (only an idiot wouldn’t know that this is not a pleasant set of circumstances) .I should not feel guilty because I am going to die , but sometimes I do, that is probably normal but weird just the same. I have worked different industries and have spent parts of my life in interesting ,dangerous , sometimes bizarre situations. I have had numerous near death experiences when I was healthy. That is probably why I don’t outwardly seem tramatized and am not physically deteriorating as much as one would think I should. The DR’s said that I was supposed to die by the end of last April .09 .I am still not quite ready . The big guy/girl willing. Thurs. Oct. 22 /09 The Song of the Day Is : “Romeo and Juliet “ performed by Dire Straits The Quote of the Day Is: “To die will be an awfully big adventure “ by J.M. Barrie After a few horrific days I seem to be getting my sense of self and sense of humor back for awhile.I know that iy wont last for long. For now I just want to enjoy this feeling of self being and dream about happy times and delicious women.
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