5 Days

Sat. Oct. 17/09 The Song Of The Day Is: “All Over” by Phoebe Snow a woman’s voice is comforting today The Quote Of The Day Is. “Today’s sorrow is just an introduction to tomorrows happiness.” by Azab 0245 It is strange but the aromas that I spoke of yesterday are becoming more prevalent. The mingling of a floral scent and the fragrance of an aroused woman teasingly wafts around me. The sweet/musky perfume is distinct and definitely there . I have looked around and cannot find any possible source of the perfume. It is appealing and arousing though. 0300 I am in to much pain to sleep. I went outside and found the night quite pleasant. The wind has died down , the ocean is calm , there is a fog in the air and it is warm enough to be comfortable in just a sweater. Bears and cougars are out on the prowl at night so I get a bit nervous as either could be right beside me and I wouldn’t notice them unless they wanted to be noticed . 1000 Today is a day that I am just plain tired of sitting on this time bomb of a body. I am lucid and capable today but am stuck in a bad state. After all the suffering that I have endured the last couple of years and now that my cancer is taking it’s final course I believe that I have a right to be despondent once in awhile. I am worth more dead than alive to the few people that I do know. I can understand that being around someone that is terminally ill is not pleasant. I do try to make my company as easy to bear as possible. I am not dead yet and could probably squeeze some living out of time that I have left , maybe , maybe not , I would like to have the choice though , but I guess that is not to be. Bye / sometimes there is no comfort in the quiet / lost somnambulist’s souls could be wandering / adrift in laughable melancholy / slipping loudly through the silence / the familiar hush that you held so dear / peace tortures you before the stars infinite embrace /clinging lavishly to leading footfalls /many trails where many fail / yet others burst through the falter / smiling comfortably in fears embrace / the refuge of trinkets holds no sway here / but lets you down into the quiet / sometimes there is no comfort in the quiet . Azab