15 Days

Fall Colors Everywhere

0725 Yesterday and so far today I am holding my own against the symptoms of the cancer . I had about 8 good hours yesterday and are hoping for the same today. The pain is bearable but I never know when the insidious bastard (the cancer ) is going to show it’s ugly self and start twisting me up from the inside . I will just try to put it all out of my head . I can mentally go to some happy places when the discomfort and pain subsides for a bit. 15 days left to decide whether or not to accept more chemotherapy , experimental or otherwise . I have been told by one DR that a person whom has received the amount and types of therapy that I have received that any more therapy would not help. I am not sure that I or my body can take any more of those ravaging drugs and am pretty sure that my body will not last to much longer trying to suppress the cancer spreading through my body. On a day like yesterday it would have been nice to be able do something enjoyable , but I guess that is just not in the cards and will psych my self into enjoying myself here on D. R .. I shouldn’t complain but I will , I wonder what other people would do if they knew that the odds were that they only had 15 days left to enjoy themselves in some degree of comfort. I think I’ll listen and watch a Tina Turner video now , be a bit sexist and get mesmerized by those legs. Experience has taught me that when things seem desperate and hopeless that if I keep looking I can find some comfort and beauty in or around any predicament. I know that when I put myself into someone elses head , perceive their concerns and unbeknownst to them take some action to alleviate their burden , they are blown away and it feels pretty good for me also. 15 days .