Morning Sky Sept.3/09 from Comptemplation Log

Thurs. Sept. 3/09 Flew back from the cancer clinic in Vancouver Can. Yesterday . Yesterday I was in all kinds of different pains . When I have one type of pain in one area I can usually deal with it but when I have three different types of pain in three dfferent places I really start to suffer. The body is a wonderous thing but dam why make it capable of producing so much pain . I want to stay lucid during my last weeks , months ? Days ?, so I don’t want to take their morphine or other pain killers . On the bright side I get to live another day and I will try to get something good to happen. Tired, tired ,tired for a person in general good health to understand what it is like for a person with extensive stage lung cancer to get started every morning , imagine running a marathon , throw a hangover on top of that along with the mental stress of knowing that you will be dead shortly , that is the way that I feel every morning when my feet hit the floor to try to get going. If anyone ever reads this I hope and pray that they never have to go through anything like what I am going through now.