Thurs. Aug. 13/09 Dizzy spells , I can feel where the tumour dwells , aw what the hell. So damm tired , I am confused as to how much of it stems from deppression and how much from the cancer . I wasn’t supposed to live past July 2nd , so I should be gratefull that I am still here . 0500 I should finish the J. F . story that I started Aug. 5/09 so go back to Aug. 5 if you want to read the story straight through. So , J. F. decides that he wants to cruise through Macon County Georgia . Now two things have developed while Johnny (J.F.) has been cruising towards Macon County , he has picked up a black hitchhiker , now remember this is a period of time in Americas proud history when blacks are considered non-persons , hell they have murdered M.L.K .jr and Detroit is still smouldering , Johnny has been doing acid and drinking beer since he left Detroit , the suspension on his $35 Cadillac is shot and so that every time he hit’s a bump or swerves around a corner the beer (Busch by the way , no perservateives) that he has between his legs while he is driving spils a bit on Johnnys crotch leaving a constant wet spot on Johnnys shorts . Well this irritates Johnny all ot hell so he decides to remedy this situation by taking off his shorts , now Johnny wasn’t wearing a shirt .So he is now driving his $35 dollar Cadillac that has Michigan plates , naked with a can of beer between his legs , a black man beside him , his proud Jewish profile framed by the drivers side window and heading right towards Macon County during the height of the American cvil rights movement. He has turned off of I-95 onto I-16 , Statesboro is just to the north and he is just east of Dublin Ga. , bouncing down I-16 high on acid , naked , a beer between his legs with a black gentleman sitting in the passenger seat and a state police cruiser approaching him from the opposite direction and it is early morning so the cops really don’t have much to do . Well the cops see this Michigan clunker coming towards them and do a dukes of hazard 360 throught the berm dividing east and westbound lanes and fire up the siren and lights and procede to try to get Johnny to pull over . Johnny decides with his infinite wisdom to try to outrun the Georgia State troopers , pushes the accelorator of the $35 Michigan hot rod to the floor sloshing beer all over his crotch , his travel wearied drug and alchohol induced mind telling him that he can somehow outrun the state troopers who are now a few feet behind him in pursuit , the black man is white with fear and I can just imagine that Johnny would be flashing his big tooth full grin thinking , there could be adventure here. Tired again , I’ll finish later. When my body kicks in for a while the will to live kicks in , otherwise I am tired of feeling shitty and chasing money to survive and sometimes feel ready to die.