Sat. Aug. 16/09 0540 Woke up in “the world iis fuckin me so fuck the world” mood this morning , but I know that I can pull out of that mood in short order (I hope). 0710 Low tide and the sunrise are occurring at almost the same time today ,that makes for a bit of a brighter morning. I went out on the spit to say my prayers and see how how close I could get to the sea lions in order to take some pictures , but they are a touch skittish , probably because they are birthing their young at this time. I only have a few months to live at best , the quality of life during this time will probably not be the best . I do not expect the world to stop just because I am dieing but one kinda wishes that it might slow down just a bit .